bipolar, laid-off paralegal

Concerts I have been to Episodes 12 & 13:

2010-05-20T21:49:00.000-07:00

Massive Attack at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley, CA on September 23, 2006.

Siouxsie Sioux at the Fillmore in San Francisco, CA on February 13, 2008.

2010-05-18T17:24:00.000-07:00

Christmas Eve 2009

We drank Veuvue Cliquot in my bed,
Your breath stank.
And I was still upset with you for ripping my Dior jacket,
The night before.

After the champagne was gone,
I finished your warm glass of Ketel One,
Left over from,
The night before.

You laughed, clapped me on the back and said,
“That’s why I love you.”
I shrugged and replied,
“It’s not like vodka goes bad.”

2010-05-18T01:42:00.001-07:00

Selected Scenes From the Short Films of Kenneth Anger

Motorcycles, men in tight black jeans and t-shirts,

Cleaning, stroking motorcycles.

Men in leather snorting cocaine in rooms with James Dean’s picture

On the wall.

Anton LaVey, Bobby Beausoleil,

Soundtrack by Mick Jagger,

An albino,

My demon brother.

Or the invocation there of.

The great Sphinx,

Stonehenge,

Lucifer in Joseph’s,

Amazing, Techno-color, Dream coat.

A bathtub full of blood.

Concerts I Have Been to Episodes 10 & 11:

2010-05-18T01:20:00.000-07:00

Morrissey at the Fillmore in San Francisco, CA on September 27, 2007.

Patrick Wolf at Cafe Du Nord in San Francisco, CA on May 22, 2007.

Concerts I Have Been to Episode 9:

2010-02-16T05:18:00.000-08:00

Interpol at the Bill Gram Civic in San Francisco, CA on October 20, 2007.

“a raped woman got executed, it was used for books and movies and shit.”

2010-01-28T02:16:00.000-08:00

2010-01-18T01:19:00.000-08:00

"In loving him, I saw a cigarette between the fingers of a hand, smoke blowing backwards into the room, and sputtering planes diving low through the clouds. In loving him, I saw men encouraging each other to lay down their arms. In loving him, I saw small-town laborers creating excavations that other men spend their lives trying to fill. In loving him, I saw moving films of stone buildings; I saw a hand in prison dragging snow from a sill. In loving him, I saw great houses being erected that would soon slide into the waiting and stirring seas. I saw him freeing me from the silences of the interior of life.

-David Wojnarowicz

2010-01-12T19:11:00.000-08:00

When you grow up, your heart dies

2010-01-03T00:46:00.000-08:00

new music from Elizabeth Fraser!

2009-12-17T01:24:00.000-08:00

Slightly underwhelming, but still sublime.

2009-12-10T06:27:00.001-08:00

Ennui

Its two p.m. but I’m still in my pajamas;
Stretched out V-neck t-shirt with hoary pit stains,
And navy blue boxers, covered in delicate white paisleys.
I’m checking my email, finishing what’s left of last night’s beer.

No, Dennis hasn’t emailed back yet.

No, I don’t care about your DVD sale, Amazon.com
and for sure I don’t need Viagra, yet.

I decide to eat breakfast;
pineapple, vegetarian sausage
and bitter espresso to take the edge off
the Klonopin I just popped.

Space out on the Food Network. Someone’s cooking something
but, I’m listening to Xiu Xiu.
Jamie whispers from inside my stereo;
It smells like Falouja, a hammock rod…
And I don’t even know what Falouja smells like.

My cell phone rings but I can’t find it,
under dirty clothes,
in coat pockets,
or on my dresser.
I figure, whatever, they’ll leave a message.
or
call back.

Concerts I Have Been to Episode 8:

2009-12-09T22:14:00.000-08:00

Switchblade Symphony at the Trocadero in San Francisco, CA on 10/31/1997

one of these things is not like the other

2009-11-22T22:41:00.000-08:00

The "T" section of my CD collection:

Tones on Tail, Throbbing Gristle, Justin Timberlake, Television, Throwing Muses

Mormon Science Fair

2009-11-16T20:27:00.001-08:00

Concerts I Have Been to Episode 7:

2009-11-15T23:27:00.000-08:00

Placebo at the Fillmore in San Francisco, CA on 04/23/2007

2009-11-12T01:50:00.000-08:00

In a Garden

Cigarette perched
between two fingers,
her free hand
pulling petals
one from one
after the next
and so on.

You all right?
I wanted to ask.
I never did ask.

From her I got,
a sigh,
or
another drag
from the cigarette.

The answer to
my not asked
question,
muted in
blue smoke.

So I left her there.
In the spring mud,
under crumpled petals
of shifting cherry
blossoms.

Concerts I Have Been to Episode 6:

2009-11-12T01:29:00.000-08:00

Nine Inch Nails (feat. Peter Murphy) at the Shoreline Amphitheater in Mountain View, CA on 07/08/2006

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2009-11-03T22:14:00.000-08:00

Haiku describing Hedi Slimane's aesthetics or "The Golden Age of Dior Homme"

2009-11-01T23:49:00.000-08:00

Eurotrash twinks

Skinny ass jail bait

Pretentious crap

look on the bright side; suicide.

2009-11-01T23:42:00.001-08:00

Concerts I Have Been to Episode 5:

2009-11-01T01:29:00.000-07:00

Bauhaus at Coachella in Indio, CA on 04/30/2005

random quote from internet message board

2009-10-29T23:52:00.000-07:00

"Forgive me, I did not mean to put you on the deffensive[sic]. I'm somewhat of a slut and often make the wrong assumption that most others are sluts, too."

2009-10-29T23:35:00.001-07:00

Love. Side Effects May Include (but are not limited to): euphoria, jealousy, obsessive-ness, self-delusion , dizziness, rapid heart rate, increased libido, dry mouth, insomnia, prolonged or uncomfortable erections, insecurities, exaggerated self-confidence, strife, solace, mediocre and/or bad poetry and/or awful odes and/or lame songs (read as: sentimentality), sweaty palms, bedroom glossolia, cold sores, raw or rashy skin, nausea, elation, late night phone calls, excessive emailing, social isolation, day dreaming, etc…

2009-10-29T23:11:00.001-07:00

3 Films Featuring Lawrence Olivier

Heathcliff slaps Cathy
and then runs his wrist over
the broken window pane.
“And you thought romance was dead,” she said.
“That’s not how it happened in the book,” I tell her.

Two days later I’m stoned,
Watching Clash of the Titans on…
some channel.
First time I saw this movie, I was eight.
And I thought the Claymation Medusa
was cheesy even back then.

Thursday night and
the spaghetti pot is boiling, telephone ringing.
I’m sitting on the couch picking at
a loose thread on the hem of my jeans and
before she gets up to answer the phone,
she turns to me and says, “I don’t like this movie.”
After she’s out of the room Olivier screams,
“A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!”

2009-10-28T23:10:00.000-07:00

"I don't think there's anything that's trashy anymore...The golden age of trash has long been over because irony ruined it."
-John Waters

Concerts I Have Been to Episode 4:

2009-10-28T21:48:00.000-07:00

Peter Murphy at The Regency Center in San Francisco, CA on 06/02/2008

It was her birthday yesterday. Ted? Nick? Did you remember to get her anything?

2009-10-28T03:49:00.000-07:00

How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For your Effeminate Son

2009-10-28T03:24:00.000-07:00

How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son

Concerts I Have Been to Episode 3:

2009-10-27T20:38:00.001-07:00

Xiu Xiu at The Great American Music Hall in San Francisco, CA on 11/10/2006

2009-10-26T22:34:00.001-07:00

David Lynch on the iphone:

2009-10-26T00:50:00.000-07:00

French Laundry

2009-10-26T00:30:00.000-07:00

I ate at the French Laundry once a few years ago. This is what I had:

Before they served the first course they brought us little puff pastries with gruyere and these little ice cream cone looking things, in a savory cone filled with salmon tartar, since I did the “Tasting of Vegetables” menu, mine was filled with a puree of fennel and crème fraiche. .

First course: butternut squash “porridge” with Sicilian pistachio emulsion and black winter truffles. It was good, the flavors were nice, but the texture of the truffles, which is kind of waxy didn’t mesh well with the smoothness of the porridge.

Second course: Salad of mountain yam, red radishes, English cucumbers, Mizuna, Yuzu and Haas avocado coulis. This was probably the best looking dish of the night, but also by far the most disappointing flavor-wise. I’m not a radish fan though and the yams also had a radish like texture, so everything was in synch texture and flavor-wise but I just don’t like radishes.

Before the third course they came around and served us really, really lovely rolls and two types of butter, one salted, the other unsalted from a local dairy.

Third course: Beech mushroom “royale” with ginger-scented mushroom bouillon and gingko nuts. At the bottom of the bowl there was also a savory flan or custard. The flavors were superb, but the different textures, of mushroom and flan were uh, interesting to say the least.

Fourth course: Hand-rolled Yukon gold potato “gnocchi,” broccolini, San Marzano tomato marmalade, preserved Meyer lemon “Bottarga.” Okay so far everything had been good, but I wasn’t blown away. This is where dinner started to turn into Nirvana. The tomato marmalade was heaven. There are not enough adjectives and similes or metaphors to describe this dish, it’d be like trying to describe an orgasm to someone who had never had one.

Before the fifth course they came around and served a selection of different breads.

Fifth course: Roasted chestnut soup, romaine lettuce, celery branch, “Pruneau d’Agen,” and shaved black truffles from Provence. This was even better than the fourth course. It was as sublime as the second coming of Christ, all over my tongue. It was at about this point in the evening that I realized everything I had ever eaten hitherto in my life had been shit. Seriously, the French Laundry makes Boulevard seem like goddamned Denny’s. The soup was so creamy, and smooth and sweet and the Pruneau d’Agen and the truffles it was… I’m getting hard just thinking about it.

Sixth course: Confit of Chinese eggplant, black rice, sweet carrots, plumped sultanas, cilantro shoots and Madras curry butter. This was very simple and clean after the richness of the soup. A bit salty, a bit sweet but neither too over powering, it was very subtle. I quite liked it.

Again bread was served before the seventh course.

Seventh course: “Moliterno,” cardoons, Marcona almonds, frisee and black truffle vinaigrette. This was the cheese course and a really nice way to wind down dinner. Our server explained that the cheese was a pecorino romano which was aged with black truffles. Again, as with everything else, very lovely.

Eighth course: Diane St. Claire buttermilk sherbet with granola and honey-poached cranberries. This was fun. It reminded me of yogurts with granola but better, which was the point. It was a nice transition from the savory to the sweet.

Ninth course: Mandarin “Pralinosa,” Gianduja Chocolate Cake, Manjari Ganache, Satsuma Sorbet and salted Jivwara “Feuillantine”. This is the dessert in the picture in my previous post. I really liked this; the citrus did a nice job of enhancing but also balancing out the chocolate so it never got too heavy or rich.

Coffee, espresso and cappuccino were served along with amaretti cookies and chocolate covered macadamia nuts dusted with powdered sugar.

Finishing out the evening they served mini-crème brulees and Meyer lemon custard. I had the custard. It was perfect and simple and wonderful. They also served us a selection of homemade truffles.

2009-10-26T00:03:00.000-07:00

Things to do in the INLAND EMPIRE (Laura Dern)
for Jamie Stewart

Tell the man you’re fucking,
That yes, you know,
“What a whore does.”

Tell your psychiatrist or
whoever,
about your husband
and the Polish, gypsy
circus.

Tell him about;
The Phantom.
The bar brawl.
Tell your shrink,
"This is the kind of shit I'm talking about!"

Because,
after your son died,
it was like
you were watching your life
flick by,
on a movie screen.

Once you leave his office,
You can catch a bus
to Pomona for $3.50
from the corner of Hollywood
and Vine.

While you wait,
You can tell the whores
On the boulevard to,
“Check these moves out.”
As you sway your hips
And snap your fingers
To the black tambourine.

In the abandoned theatre
The Phantom's head
ballooned and grinning
clown-ish, grotesque
vomits at you
as you shoot,
shoot it.
And he'll grin.

Say this happened tomorrow
so you know it's yesterday.

Personally, I don't think
it'd be that bad,
fucking Justin Theroux.

Strange,
what love does.

Concerts I Have Been to Episode 2:

2009-10-25T16:35:00.000-07:00

Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band at Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco, CA on 8/1/2008

Drugs that I am on

2009-10-25T04:11:00.000-07:00

Lamictal, Xanax XR, Ambien, and Seroquel. Lamictal is a 'mood stabilizer', but is also prescribed for epilepsy. There is a chance of seizure if I discontinue the medication abruptly. There is also a risk of developing a potentially life threaten rash. Xanax is for my chronic anxiety. Ambien is for the insomnia. Seroquel is for manic episodes, but is also prescribed to people with schizophrenia. It's an 'antipsychotic'.

I also use Rogaine because I have this crippling fear of losing my hair.

Concerts I Have Been to Episode 1:

2009-10-25T02:49:00.000-07:00

Final Fantasy at the Independent in San Francisco, CA 10/25/2007